Updated: Nov 29, 2021
A client, and friend, recently reminded me that this curl journey is not just about learning to love your curls but also unlearning years of thinking your curls were ugly, unkempt, unprofessional, unsophisticated, and unpopular.
Imagine, after years of hiding your natural curl, covering it, forcing it to behave in a certain way, you decide it’s time to embrace your natural texture. You go seek a curl specialist - which in itself can be a scary step - and you are introduced, perhaps for the first time, to your natural texture.
You look amazing, your hair is happy, you have a spring in your step… right up until
you face your oldest demons.
“Wow, your hair is crazy!”
“I preferred it straight!”
“Can I touch your hair?”
“Oh, I didn’t know your hair was like THAT!”
Suddenly all the new ground you’ve covered on your curl journey is wiped away and in an instant you are back to feeling like the kid who didn’t quite fit in. The child who’s curls were unceremoniously brushed out day after day.
It takes courage to persevere at this point. And also it's no surprise that round about now your hair suddenly isn’t sitting right, or those curls just aren’t behaving properly, the products aren’t working... Sometimes, all it takes is one comment and our curl confidence is shot.
Here’s where the unlearning comes in.
We cannot give up the pursuit of our own authenticity because it doesn't match someone else's view of how we should look.
Years spent conforming to an aesthetic, dictated by someone else, is hard to just erase with one visit to the salon. The toughest part of a curl journey is fighting those voices, doubts, second thoughts. We can't control what people will say or think but we can keep working on those new products, new techniques and new curl discoveries because every one brings us closer to our hair goals.
And when those goals are essentially about being true to what your hair wants to do naturally, the only voice you need to pay attention to is yours.